FANDOM


*What follows is a fanmade parody. The characters personalities do not necessarily represent their real life personalities*


Scott Pilgrim = GIR 5 Life

Ramona Flowers = Drakan95

Knives Chau = Alanomaly

Sex Bob-Omb members = The Flatwoods Monster, MetalFire, NightFalcon9004 and Kitana Oasis Black

First Ex= CaveJohnson333


*GIR is at a meeting with the rest of Sex Bobomb*

GIR: Can we play the PM song?

Flats: Not again. Please God.

GIR: *singing* oooooh, Flats PM, Night PM, Metal PM tooooo

Flats: Make it stop

Night: My ears...

Metal: I don't know why I'm here!

GIR: Kit PM, Grav PM, Alan PM, woooo

Flats: Who the fuck is Alan?

Night: GIR's new boyfriend

Flats: How the fuck did you get a boyfriend?

Kit: GIR is a pretty romantic fellow

Night: Believe me. I've seen them together. They aren't romantic.

Metal: Seriously guys, what is this place?

Night: They basically just

*A knock at the door cuts him off*

GIR: That will be him!

*GIR runs to the door and answers it*

Alan: Hey GIR! I was thinking about Ben and Gwen today!

GIR: Yay! I had new thoughts on Dipper and Mabel!

Night: ...discuss their weird as fuck ships

Flats: Oh fucking great

-

*GIR is at a party when he sees a hot Romanian who bears a striking resemblance to Jon Snow from across the room*

GIR: Woah, that guy is hotter than Mabel and Dipper oral

*GIR approaches him but is cut off by a partygoer*

Partygoer: Yo GIR

GIR: Get out of the way, Thy

*GIR throws Thy out of the way, accidentally throwing him down the stairs*

GIR: He will be mine...

*Loyg and DWAS stumble across his path, kissing passionately*

GIR: No!

*GIR throws Loyg out of a window and kicks DWAS in the groin*

GIR: None will stop me

*The religious one crosses GIR's path*

Mind: THE LORD SAID THAT TEENAGE BOYS SHOULDNT FAP TO PINECES..

GIR: Your religion is false!

*GIR steals Mind's crucifix, repeatedly stabbing him with it*

GIR: Yay!

*GIR runs off to Drak, leaving Flats holding a drink looking shocked*

Flats: Now that's what I call horror...

-

*Drak stands with his back to the wall as GIR sidles up*

GIR: My name is GIR

Drak: That's...nice?

GIR: Want to sext?

Drak: I'm going to leave now

*Drak starts walking slowly away before breaking into a run*

GIR: Well that went well!

-

*GIR's band is playing in front of a largish crowd*

GIR: We are PM Sex Bob-Omb, prepare to hear the might of the PM Song!

Flats: I thought we agreed we were never going to do that one live

Night: I had to choose between this one or one about how hot incest is. I chose this one.

Metal: Seriously guys, I don't even play a musical instrument.

*other members of the band play half heartedly whilst GIR sings*

Flats: I wonder if anything interesting is going to happen like...now!

*Theres a sudden crash as someone enters through the roof, he stumbles upon landing before coughing. Suddenly something occurs to him, he attempts to look intimidating but fails*

Flats: Are you trying to look intimidating? Cos you failed

Jack: No I didn't! I'm the scariest villain around!

Flats: Is that what your mummy told you?

Jack: yes! No! Shut up I'm not even here for you!

Night: Then who are you here for?

*Jack points at GIR*

Jack: HIM!!!

*GIR waves*

GIR: Hi friend

Night: Hey, weird fat nerd guy

Jack: What now?!?!?

Night: You totally look like Michael Cera

Metal: Yeah!

Flats: Don't be stupid Night. Michael Cera would never be in something with such a shitty plot line

Night: I guess you're right

Jack: Speaking of the plot line, can we please get back to it?

Night: Sure!

Jack: Thank you! Now where was I?

Flats: You just said you'd come for GIR

Jack: Ahh yes! HIM!!!

*Jack points at GIR again*

Jack: An informant of ours told us that you'd been hitting on Drakan at a party!

*DWAS walks by holding an ice pack to his crotch*

DWAS: Yo

GIR: You mean the hot guy? Yeah he was dreamy. I'd PM fuck him all day and night.

Flats: Why are we friends with him?

Jack: You dared to approach the sacred Drakan and I have been sent to make you pay!

GIR: Do you want to fuck him too? We could have a threesome

Jack: Wat...no...Sunshet Shimmer is the only one for me

DWAS: Don't forget the horses!

Jack: Shut up, DWAS!

*Shoots a fireball at DWAS and kills him*

GIR: You fuck horses?

Jack: No!

GIR: That's hot!

Flats: Erm...

Jack: The point is, GIR Life, if you seek to approach the delectable Drakan Ninety-Five you must first best me in combat!

GIR: Ok!

Jack: I will leave you beaten, more sexier than the vegan!

GIR: What vegan?

Jack: Oops! Spoilers!

Flats: Is he singing or murdering a cat?

Jack: Right that's it, fuck you

*Jack fires a fire ball at Flats but misses. It ricochets off the drum and back at Jack who is spent sprawling*

Jack: Urgh...

GIR: Hey look! A naked pony!

Jack: Ooh where?

*Jack turns to look as GIR picks up a cymbal and decapitates him with it*

GIR: In your dreams!

Alan: Oooooh!

Flats: Did that just happen or am I still high?

*Drakan steps out from the shadows*

Drakan: I'm afraid that just happened. You see, in approaching me, gross by the way, GIR has angered the League of Seven Wikians, who will now challenge him to duels to the death using their supernatural powers, each more fearsome than the last.

Night: That was meant to be fearsome?

Drakan: a that was just the first of many. They call him the Witless Wonder. More will come, each more fearsome than the last

Flats: You already said that

Drakan: I know. But it sounds really ominous, right?

Flats: It kinda does

Metal: Why was I even in this episode?

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.